I love it…lol
♥ ♥ lovely ♥ ♥ http://spankingmaster69.tumblr.com/
“Aging up doesn’t work, they’re not over 18 just because you say they are!!!” that is, in fact, exactly how fiction works. they are things because we say they are that thing. you can just make it up. look, they work at a coffee shop and one of them’s a cat now. isn’t fiction incredible
So is the cat just a cafe cat or does it have a particular job…?
The cat is the manager.
*nods* Makes sense!
Fiction is indeed a truly blessed thing.
This is the only reply to this post that I’m acknowledging and it’s to say: good, and correct
I mean but are you saying, like, “I hate cats,” or are you saying, say, “cats are invading people’s homes because of this new ‘cat activism’ which is killing dogs because it’s no longer ‘woke’ to like them and now you get death threats if you ever admit you like dogs which no one has ever sent to a cat owner and homes are supposed to be safe spaces for dogs how could someone say a dog and a cat could live together how dare you call them both ‘pets’ or ‘vertebrates’ as if dogs and cats are remotely comparable it’s literal violence for cats to wear leashes especially if they don’t wear harnesses and just clip it to the collar because no cat could actually walk that way and cats don’t go for walks at all anyway and chihuahuas are the worst most despicable kind of cats and I don’t believe in guinea pigs” because one of those sounds more comparable than the other, just saying.
My name is Calfe
& Im too young
to know yet what do
with my Toung!
So till my Mom say
“Dont Do That!”
Ill stick it out
And lik this cat.
My little Calfe,
Im proud of yu–
yur living like
the Big Cows do.
Yur doing just
what Mom have said–
for yu lik cat,
and cat
lik bred.
Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars.
These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk.
These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line.
These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime:
So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure.
No respect for the craft.
1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!!
Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.)
Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!
my name is Cow,
and as yu see,
its worth yor tiyme
to studye me.
but if yu dont
like what yu red,
take 2 deep breths
and lik the bred.
I am willing to concede on second reading that the syllabic structure is passable, and in that regard I’ve wrongly impugned the integrity of your work, however I maintain that your Frankenstinian amalgam of fake middle English with fake modern American baby talk is thoroughly unconvincing as either middle English or as modern American baby talk.
It’s an aesthetic failure, IMH(inh)O*
You’ve created the linguistic equivalent of a spork — vitiating two perfectly serviceable tools by attempting to fuse them.
Writing ‘till mothere says / do not do that,’ would have conveyed roughly the same idea without feeling quite so awkwardly anachronistic.
My name is Rave,
and I can see
you’re bent on pa-
tronizing me!
”Anachronistic”
frankly seems
a misplaced word
to use of memes.
But since you want
to start that fight,
let’s step outside
and do this right.
Dude: if you want
to not get wrecked
you’d better get
your facts correct.
Like, “Mothere,” friend,
is not a word
that Geoffrey Chau-
cer ever heard.*
(*”Mooder” would be period-accurate, and also a good cow word.)
What’s more, the “eight-
teenth century”
has zip to do
with, um, “M.E.”
And it’s not spelled
“diameter.”
What are you, pal,
an amateur?
I am not Chaucer
or John Donne
but if you try
to spoil my fun
with words you learned
in English class –
don’t come for me.
I’ll kik yur ass.
I don’t think someone who thinks Middle English happened in the seventeenth century ought to be schooling others.
It’s okay, they’re just getting their facts from Sleepy Hollow.
*banging pots and pans together* No safe spaces for bigots!
*banging pots and pans together* No safe spaces for bigots!
*banging pots and pans together* No safe spaces for bigots!
*banging pots and pans together*NO SAFE SPACES FOR BIGOTS!!!
did you just compare truscum and aphobes to fucking nazis
Did you hurt your arm from that reach?
So don’t call truscum and aphobes bigots anymore. Nazi are the only kind of bigots in the whole world
I know right
I….. cannot beliewve that they got truscum and aphobes bein compared to nazis from this…… I cannot beliewve…..
Addmzghgczarssg!!! I’m disassociating
Okay, I got this:
boom
There are many theories about the function of a caracal’s ear tufts. The tufts may help keep flies out of the cat’s face or help to camouflage the caracal in tall grass by breaking up the outline of the cat’s head. However, the most widely accepted theory is that the cat twitches its ear tufts as a way to communicate with fellow caracals. Learn more.
This is what I accidentally picture every time I read the word ‘carceral’.
